This I Believe by Jami Huang
At the age of 7 was the first time I was exposed to a diverse environment. Before that, I lived in China and studied at an international school. I was often troubled and confused as a young kid about the two very distinct cultures that I was exposed to, and have always attempted to mix them together as one in me. I always tried to fit into the common culture depending on my surroundings and tried to mend the differences as I was able. I wasn’t proud of being different and didn’t understand the distinction between the two cultures. At seven I was in the United States with my parents. For the first time, I realized the great contrast between China and the United States, no matter the language, the living style, the food, or even the way of paying money.
On this day my parents were in the United States with me, trying to buy some groceries from Target. At the cashier’s desk, I stood behind my parents while they laid out the groceries for the lady. The lady took a look at my parents, and after checking all the items, she looked directly past them and spoke to me slowly, “28 dollars and 78 cents, please.” I translated for my parents, impatiently. I did not want to get involved in another long translating process. Thankfully, my mom understood quickly. She took out 3 ten-dollar bills and reached her hand out toward me. I had a vague sense of what she wanted. However, I still laid out my hand and made a confused expression. “The pouch,” Mother motioned. Slowly, I reached into my bag and dug out the heavy small pouch. It was red with golden stitches of dragons and lotus flowers, embroidered with posh patterns. “Made out of silk,” Mother told me once, “your grandmother gave it to me. It is yours now.” The mouth of the pouch is threaded with a string that could be loosened or tightened to open or close. At the bottom, the small words “Made in China” are threaded with golden string. It was what I used to carry cents and dimes and quarters coins around. I handed it to Mother. She reached into it and took out three quarters and a nickel. I sighed silently. Mother is doing the confusing Chinese way of paying money again. She then spoke to me in Chinese, “Tell her to change 2 dollars and 2 cents.” I looked at the cash, unbelievably and exasperated. I have witnessed her and grandma do this a thousand times already in the past and even learned how to pay money like this, but never saw the necessity and point in this. I whispered to mom quietly in Chinese, knowing that there would be a small possibility that she would get me, “She’s not going to understand this, Mother. There is no point in this. Can you not just pay her 28 dollars and 78 cents or 29 dollars?” I glanced at the lady awkwardly. But Mother did not care at all what I was saying. She pushed the money to the lady, who received the money, with a hint of confusion on her face. I smiled at the lady uncomfortably and lowered my head. Indeed, the lady looked at the money, took the three ten-dollar bills, and pushed the coins back to my parents. In a politely awkward voice, she said, “30 dollars is enough, ma’am.” My mom took back the coins slowly. She looked like she wanted to explain but resisted the urge. The coins were put back into the small pouch, back into my bag. It was obviously getting heavier and heavier every day for its capacity. We walked out of Target, and somehow I felt like the lady’s eyes were still on us. I could totally understand how it was unbelievable for her. I had never seen anyone in America pay money like my mother. However, somehow I could also totally understand my mother, who was just trying to spend some of the coins in that pouch.
I understood the lady as much as I understood my mother. What I couldn’t understand as a seven-year-old was why things were so different, so difficult. Why I had to be the middle person and why I couldn’t fit completely in with either one of the two sides. But as I grew older, I became used to these moments when people and things resulted in clashes because they were simply discrete from each other. I have been more exposed to both cultures and have learned to balance them in me. Most of all, I began to accept my diverse identities and ceased to try to hide them, beginning from that moment.